To that blaster worm going around the internet now, I have this to say,

SUCK IT!

That damn thing, while fortunately not infecting any of our computers at work yet, still had me going about the office installing patches and service packs (not only do I play an Office Manager on TV, but also I'm the systems administrator). Yet the worm did at least make me grateful for several things:

1) Our ancient computers here at work are just that: wrought with ancient operating systems that this worm was fortunately not targeting. We only had five computers that I had to update with patches, and not 20.

2) I normally hate the operating system on my laptop at home. It is Windows Millennium, and it is crap. But again, the worm was not targeting Windows Me, so I didn't have to freak out about my home computer.

Okay, that was just two things, maybe that doesn't constitute the "several things" identifier. Whatever.

Hey, how about some internet worm haiku?

Oh internet worm
wreaking havoc all over,
you can kiss my ass

You exploit a hole
that Microsoft left open
Microsoft sucks ass

How many haikus
can I use the word "ass" in?
Ass ass ass ass ass

Mr. Bill Gates, please
spend your billions making your
damn hardware work well!

Feel free to add your own haikus to the comments. But be careful, it's addictive.