Why the frick does everything break on Mondays? Does technology in my office gather together on the weekends and plot out who will go when Monday morning? Why do our computers and printers hate me so much? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

And why does my coworker need to constantly burn popcorn in here? Is it that hard to make it without torching the bag and making the whole office stink? I don't think there's a 'BURN THE WHOLE MUTHAF*CKIN BAG' button on the microwave, but she seems to find that setting. Does her palm pilot have this as a schedule:

8am - Get to work
8:15am - work
8:30am - work
8:45am - work
9am - BURN A WHOLE DAMN BAG OF POPCORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9:15am - work
9:30am - work

And dammit, the comments on my blog aren't working either. Document Root is who does them, and their website isn't even coming up. Might be time to switch hosts.

In other news, when it's a Monday morning and things are breaking and the office smells like it was recently on fire and coworkers are asking stupid questions, a good place to waste an extraordinary amount of time is Friendster.