The label printer at work makes me swear like a sailor. It's reminiscent of the movie "Office Space," if you've seen that. And if you have not seen that, then you must.

Anyway, the usual conversation between me the printer goes as follows:

Printer: bzzzz, whirr, *jam*
Me: Why, you stupid piece of (&$*&$! Come on!
I press the feed button.

Printer: bzzz, whirrrrrrr, bzzz, *jam*
Me: What in the f---? Godsonofastupid*(&%$&*&%!
Feed button is pressed again.

Printer: Whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *jam*
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF *(&%*&%@@@, WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!?! **$75@#@!!
Feed button is slammed several times

Printer: Bzzz, whrrrr, nnnnnnnnn *jam*
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Feed button is held down with the force of a steamroller

Me: TAKE IT, YOU PIECE OF *$&%^!! YEAH! TAKE IT!! (*%78@(#)$^!
Printer: Bzzzzzzzz *label prints perfectly*

Me: HA! THAT'S RIGHT, *%&#*($! I WIN!!! YOU STUPID (*%&!
My finger smears the label.

Me: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

You get the picture, I think.