Moving to a Different State: The Car’s Story

Someone, somewhere, is keeping a list of the states that make the “New License and Registration Process” very difficult. To that person, I say this: Please add Maryland.

I’ve been to the Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration office three times in the month I’ve been here. Each time, the conversation between me and the MVA employee is somewhat like this:

MVA: Okay, do you have the 2845 form for out of state registration?
Me: No
MVA: You’ll need to fill that out. Did you fill out form 2565-B?
Me: No, what’s that?
MVA: You’ll need to fill that out.
Me: What is it?
MVA: It proves you’re a moron.
Me: What?
MVA: That will cost you $85.
Me: Being a moron?
MVA: Are you calling me a moron?
Me: What? No, what form am I paying for?
MVA: Did you fill out the “Out of State Flim Flam MooShoo Form”?
Me: What’s that?
MVA: That’ll cost you $32.
Me: I don’t understand.
MVA: Oh, and you’ll have to get your car inspected first.
Me: I just did that.
MVA: That will cost you $59.
Me: I already paid for that.
MVA: Then it will cost you $120.
Me: What?
MVA: Are you from out of state?
Me: What?! Yes, I told you that.
MVA: That will cost you $45.
Me: I do have this form here, the “registration of title” form.
MVA: That’s only if you’re from out of state.
Me: I am, I told you that.
MVA: That will cost you $75. And you’ll need forms 567, 459-B, 567-V and 1-A.
Me: What are those?
MVA: And your car will need to be inspected again.
Me: Why? I just did that.
MVA: It’s the Official Second Out of State Inspection 2-B. It will cost you $90.
Me: Alright, so how much do I owe?
MVA: Let me see……that will be your right arm……here’s a saw……
Me: *sawsawsawsaw*THUMP*
MVA: Thank you…and……if you would just sign here to give us your first-born child…
Me: *scribblescribblescribble*
MVA: And now, just for us, I would like you to kick this puppy.


It’s just like that. And this morning, I finally got everything done.