Holiday Parties

I just found this email I sent to a friend last year after an office holiday party with my old company. It's too good to not share, because seriously, who has NOT had an office party like this:

"I'm in a good holiday mood today. The office is all relaxed and full of holiday music and food. Last night's party was really fun. I got wasted and insulted the boss, who then punched me, and then Amy jumped on him, and then his wife attacked Amy, then they hit our production manager by accident, who then got really pissed and broke his beer bottle off on the bar and kept trying to stab our senior account executive because he thought she had done it, then her boyfriend got pissed and broke a chair over the production manager's head, but a part of the chair hit our ads services manager, who then went into a rage and flipped the table over. Well, the table landed on one of our sales rep's toes, and he started crying, so his wife bit the senior account executive's boyfriend on the leg. Then someone threw a wine bottle and well, I just don't remember much after that. I just remember waking up this morning in the restaurant dumpster, and for some reason my ass has teeth marks on it. But man, what a party!

How was your evening?"