The blank to be filled in later
Wonderful readers, I have a question. Okay really, it's an admission. Today's a day of admissions for me, actually. I just admitted that I have a lower back tattoo to the folks over at Tara's blog. And honestly, I'm fine with it - both that admission and the fact that I have a tattoo there. I think as long as you enjoy your own tattoos, it's not really a big deal what everyone else may think.
Anyway, the admission of right now is that it wasn't until very recently that I discovered that the word "dork" has another, more vulgar definition.
I guess you could also say that it's a more scientific definition as well.
I chose it as the name of my blog because I considered "dork" to be an amusing form of self-deprecation for me. You know, just me being silly. Yet now, thanks to my lovely wife (who has also ruined numerous songs for me by deciphering what she thinks the lyrics really imply -- see "More than Words" by Extreme), all I can think about is the naughty meaning of it.
Am I a giant whale schlong? No. I don't think I've done anything that warrants me being called that. But, because I can't get past that -- and because I am now discovering that it's not just some strange coincidence that so many people google "whale dork" AND stumble upon my site (thanks so much, Nedstat) -- I am thinking of changing the name of my blog.
I can't use "tool" because my favorite brother told me he thinks it's graphically sexual. I've thought about "nerd" or "geek," but to me nerds and geeks are obsessed with computers. I know my share of info about computers, but I don't believe it's enough to gain me the title of nerd or geek.
So I ask you, faithful readers, should I change my name? And if I do, what should it be?
Help me decide if I should continue to be a site people stumble upon when trying to learn more about whale genitalia.
Wonderful readers, I have a question. Okay really, it's an admission. Today's a day of admissions for me, actually. I just admitted that I have a lower back tattoo to the folks over at Tara's blog. And honestly, I'm fine with it - both that admission and the fact that I have a tattoo there. I think as long as you enjoy your own tattoos, it's not really a big deal what everyone else may think.
Anyway, the admission of right now is that it wasn't until very recently that I discovered that the word "dork" has another, more vulgar definition.
I guess you could also say that it's a more scientific definition as well.
I chose it as the name of my blog because I considered "dork" to be an amusing form of self-deprecation for me. You know, just me being silly. Yet now, thanks to my lovely wife (who has also ruined numerous songs for me by deciphering what she thinks the lyrics really imply -- see "More than Words" by Extreme), all I can think about is the naughty meaning of it.
Am I a giant whale schlong? No. I don't think I've done anything that warrants me being called that. But, because I can't get past that -- and because I am now discovering that it's not just some strange coincidence that so many people google "whale dork" AND stumble upon my site (thanks so much, Nedstat) -- I am thinking of changing the name of my blog.
I can't use "tool" because my favorite brother told me he thinks it's graphically sexual. I've thought about "nerd" or "geek," but to me nerds and geeks are obsessed with computers. I know my share of info about computers, but I don't believe it's enough to gain me the title of nerd or geek.
So I ask you, faithful readers, should I change my name? And if I do, what should it be?
Help me decide if I should continue to be a site people stumble upon when trying to learn more about whale genitalia.
posted by H at
1:17 PM
11 Comments:
If I decide to go that route, I'd rather just be even more blunt and call it "heather--> giant whale schlong."
Or maybe "heather--> huge sea creature tubesteak."
How about "toolbox"? Can you use that? I'm pretty sure that has no sexual connotation. I took the liberty of looking "dork" up in the Thesaurus and found the following synonyms: airhead, ass, blockhead, bobby, boob, chump, clod, dimwit, dodo, dolt, drip, dumbbell, dumdum, dunce, fathead, fool, goof, goon, idiot, ignoramous, lamebrain, lunkhead, meathead, muttonhead, nerd, nitwit, oaf, sap, schmuck, simpleton, spaz, stupe, yo-yo. But personally I like "Heather --> peppery" which is one of the words I found as a synonym for "Heather". I also got work done today. Really.
I think you should change your name to Erma. Oh, wait, we're talking about just your website? I don't know. Just don't use shmuck. Do you know what that refers to? Heehee, I do. I really like Erma Moyer. It's fun to say. It begins and ends with the "er" sound, and there are two "m"s in the middle. Say it out loud. At work. To the water cooler.
Really, anyone who is googling "whale dork" deserves far worse than to come across your blog. But, if you really are into elevating yourself about some immature Internet behavior, you could try inserting "uber" (with or withou umlaut) before the dork, keeping your original meaning without accidentally connotating Shamu's tool.
Sorry I ruined your blog name. I learned it by reading the Far Side, okay? I'll try to make it up to you by inventing some new ones:
How about Heather --> comedienne
or Heather --> the saga continues
or Heather --> goofing off
or Heather --> wears pink underwear
or Heather --> zest of life
or Heather --> with the weather
or Heather --> grammar fascist
or Heather --> eternal sunshine of the dirty mind
These are all great suggestions. I am perusing them and will make a change later today. Maybe.
Oh the irony of Heather --> dork meaning Heather--> Penis
Also, it's not that tool is sexually graphic (I'm being misquoted!) it's just that it's a negative word. You call someone a tool when they're an a**hole.
Yes, I also enjoyed that irony.
I like Heather with the Weather. Again because it's fun to say.
i typed whale dork into google....
and this is where it took me!
thats just funney that you spotted
it too, what were you googleing?
I think it is time to start a movement to bring back Heather --> dork!
May I offer another reference?
Which when followed to this leaves us with:
"one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits"
Of course I like the irony too!
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