V-day
Ah, love. It makes some mushy, and it makes others want to vomit. To each their own, I say. Mush or vomit, it's all up to you and your lover of choice.
I spent part of last week wondering what I should get for my dear wife for V-day. While in the car one afternoon, I heard a horrible Valentine's Day gift idea on the radio. Laser Hair Removal.
The female announcer said, "Wondering what to get your special someone for Valentine's Day? How about the joy of laser hair removal?"
She went on, but I was lost in shock and didn't hear the rest. Would that really be a wise gift if you expect to stay in the relationship with your special someone?
"Honey, I love you, and because I love you so much I must tell you that Brazilian bikini lines are really the way to go. Permanently. Ow, why are you punching me?!"
Seriously, I can only see it as insulting. You may say, "It's laser hair removal because I love you," but what I'd hear is, "You are a disgusting wookie of a person, please de-hair and check back with me later on when you're entirely hairless."
While that may be okay in some folks' relationships, for me it's not the best way to start off a romantic dinner, "Laser Hair Removal" is not the three-word phrase I'd like to hear on Valentine's Day.
And because I love lists, I'd like to have us make a list of other Really Bad Valentine's Day Gift Ideas. I'll start us off (in no particular order).
1. Laser hair removal.
2. Eddie Money's Greatest Hits CD
3. A case of Listerene.
4. Rabies.
5. A bag of hair.
6. The special extended version collector's edition of the movie "Vanilla Sky." (I'm still not forgiving Tom Cruise for that pile of crap)
Add your own!
Ah, love. It makes some mushy, and it makes others want to vomit. To each their own, I say. Mush or vomit, it's all up to you and your lover of choice.
I spent part of last week wondering what I should get for my dear wife for V-day. While in the car one afternoon, I heard a horrible Valentine's Day gift idea on the radio. Laser Hair Removal.
The female announcer said, "Wondering what to get your special someone for Valentine's Day? How about the joy of laser hair removal?"
She went on, but I was lost in shock and didn't hear the rest. Would that really be a wise gift if you expect to stay in the relationship with your special someone?
"Honey, I love you, and because I love you so much I must tell you that Brazilian bikini lines are really the way to go. Permanently. Ow, why are you punching me?!"
Seriously, I can only see it as insulting. You may say, "It's laser hair removal because I love you," but what I'd hear is, "You are a disgusting wookie of a person, please de-hair and check back with me later on when you're entirely hairless."
While that may be okay in some folks' relationships, for me it's not the best way to start off a romantic dinner, "Laser Hair Removal" is not the three-word phrase I'd like to hear on Valentine's Day.
And because I love lists, I'd like to have us make a list of other Really Bad Valentine's Day Gift Ideas. I'll start us off (in no particular order).
1. Laser hair removal.
2. Eddie Money's Greatest Hits CD
3. A case of Listerene.
4. Rabies.
5. A bag of hair.
6. The special extended version collector's edition of the movie "Vanilla Sky." (I'm still not forgiving Tom Cruise for that pile of crap)
Add your own!
posted by H at
11:11 AM
7 Comments:
1. A copy of "The South Beach Diet".
2. A push-up bra.
3. Crest White-strips.
any type of kitchen appliance
any workout equipment, gift certificates to a gym, etc.
My list originally was:
1. lingerie that's too small
2. perfume - since it implies you smell bad
3. candles - scented or unscented - just because I hate candles
But then I realized that I got a pretty bad V-day gift from my boyfriend's mom: a box of 12 fake rose buds. Yup, it's a clear plastic, heart-shaped box with a dozen fake roses - just the flower part. It's like a serial killer went to a craft store and ripped the heads off twelve roses and put them in a little box with a bow.
The worst aspect of the gift is what to do with them. They're from my boyfriend's mom so throwing them away isn't an option for a few years. These would be a great yard sale item, but she might come.
For now, they're in the closet with the two (yes two, one for each of us) small wooden boxes to collect money for charity in (if you're Jewish, tzedakah boxes).
exercise videos. Unless it's Cardio Striptease, in which case that could be kinda funny. For the record, my roommate got it and it's actually a pretty good workout. So I hear. (and Carmen Electra doesn't take anything more off than a sweatshirt, I hate to break it to y'all.)
Right, Tara, your "roommate" got it. Mm hmm.
You probably don't want to know what I got from my new doctor for Valentine's day.
And then imagine my embarassment when I read this after bringing home all that home-spa hair removal wax yesterday! Just kidding honey! I love you!
Last week a woman died on her way to a laser hair removal session. I heard it on NPR. So, don't get DEATH for your Valentine.
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