Holiday Weekend
Have a fantastic holiday weekend, folks. And happy birthday, Ammerikuh, we get to spank you 229 times on Monday.
My family loves fireworks - apparently blowing things up runs in our family (from dad's side, of course.) We delight in blowing up any fruits or vegetables we can find, or just lighting off an entire 1,000-count roll of Black Cats in a metal trashcan.
Last night on CNN the anchor was interviewing some fireworks safety expert about the hazards of the M fireworks, like M-80s and M-1000s. To demonstrate just how dangerous these explosives can be, they showed footage of a mannequin holding an M-80 in its raised hand, its expressionless face unaware of the pain to come. The hand promptly blows right off the mannequin showing that they'd use some human-like hand color and gel consistency to show just how nasty your hand would explode if you were stupid enough to hold onto an M-80 for that long once it's lit.
Instead of being turned off to the dangers of said M-80, I responded with a, "Cooooooool," and wanted them to show the footage over and over again.
But it got better - they moved on to the damage an M-1000 can do. The talking head fireworks expert guy said, "M-1000s are extremely dangerous - they can easily destroy an entire watermelon."
I did a chair-dance of glee (I was sitting down) because I knew what was coming next: video of an exploding watermelon.
It. Was. Awesome.
The M-1000 leveled that big ol' watermelon into nothing. They played the clip over and over again as the two guys yammered on about safety and precautions and blah blah blah, who cares, there's an exploding watermelon.
Again, they had the opposite effect on me. I immediately wanted to drive to the store, grab a giant watermelon, drive to the fireworks store, grab a handful of M-1000s, and then wreak havoc on my new fruity friend.
But I restrained myself. Yet I don't want to totally disappoint you fine readers with no pictures of juicy watermelon destruction, so I found this video online to give you an impression of just how cool it looks. You'll need QuickTime to see it - but it's totally worth it.
Anyway, my weekend will actually be fireworks free for the most part. Tomorrow is time with friends, Sunday is a canoe trip in West Virginia, and then Monday afternoon I leave on a work trip to Ft. Myers, Fla.
Have a safe, but fruity explosive holiday weekend, kids!
Have a fantastic holiday weekend, folks. And happy birthday, Ammerikuh, we get to spank you 229 times on Monday.
My family loves fireworks - apparently blowing things up runs in our family (from dad's side, of course.) We delight in blowing up any fruits or vegetables we can find, or just lighting off an entire 1,000-count roll of Black Cats in a metal trashcan.
Last night on CNN the anchor was interviewing some fireworks safety expert about the hazards of the M fireworks, like M-80s and M-1000s. To demonstrate just how dangerous these explosives can be, they showed footage of a mannequin holding an M-80 in its raised hand, its expressionless face unaware of the pain to come. The hand promptly blows right off the mannequin showing that they'd use some human-like hand color and gel consistency to show just how nasty your hand would explode if you were stupid enough to hold onto an M-80 for that long once it's lit.
Instead of being turned off to the dangers of said M-80, I responded with a, "Cooooooool," and wanted them to show the footage over and over again.
But it got better - they moved on to the damage an M-1000 can do. The talking head fireworks expert guy said, "M-1000s are extremely dangerous - they can easily destroy an entire watermelon."
I did a chair-dance of glee (I was sitting down) because I knew what was coming next: video of an exploding watermelon.
It. Was. Awesome.
The M-1000 leveled that big ol' watermelon into nothing. They played the clip over and over again as the two guys yammered on about safety and precautions and blah blah blah, who cares, there's an exploding watermelon.
Again, they had the opposite effect on me. I immediately wanted to drive to the store, grab a giant watermelon, drive to the fireworks store, grab a handful of M-1000s, and then wreak havoc on my new fruity friend.
But I restrained myself. Yet I don't want to totally disappoint you fine readers with no pictures of juicy watermelon destruction, so I found this video online to give you an impression of just how cool it looks. You'll need QuickTime to see it - but it's totally worth it.
Anyway, my weekend will actually be fireworks free for the most part. Tomorrow is time with friends, Sunday is a canoe trip in West Virginia, and then Monday afternoon I leave on a work trip to Ft. Myers, Fla.
Have a safe, but fruity explosive holiday weekend, kids!
posted by H at
2:55 PM
2 Comments:
That's sort of like drug education in school. Just made me want to run out and try ALL kinds of drugs!
What is it with the watermelons? They are always used as examples of the dangers or firearms and explosives to humans. Comdeian Gallagher smashes them with mallets and R. Lee Ermey ("Mail Call", the History Channel) fires assorted artillery at them.I think there should be some sort of Committee to End Violence Against Watermelons...
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