Florida
I disappeared again this week - another work trip to Florida. This time I hit up the east coast and traveled about 600+ miles in three days. From Florida City to Melbourne, I saw lots of the state.
Some notes on my trip:
-Normally I don't think Florida drivers are crazy, but apparently they are on the east coast of the state. I was flicked off, cut off, and honked at for infractions that were not my fault. I enjoy being flicked off by someone who just cut me off. It must be a defensive move whenever someone realizes they were just an asshole on the road and got honked at for almost causing a wreck.
-I was also taunted by an old lady. I normally have interesting things happen to me while in Florida, but this was a first. There I was, driving into the parking lot of a grocery store. This old woman was about to cross the parking lot street in front of me. I was driving slowly, but the butt of my car was still in the intersection. So instead of causing an accident and leaving my car's ass out there, I kept driving slowly and didn't allow the little old lady to cross the street.
That was the wrong thing to do according to the old lady. Incensed that she had to spend another THREE SECONDS waiting for a car to pass, she walked up to my driver's side window as I passed and shook her head and finger at me in a sort of a "Shame on you" manner. Are you kidding me?! I stared at her for a second and then taunted her back as I slowly rolled by. That's right, I taunted an old woman. From a moving vehicle. I mocked her by shaking my head and finger at her in the same manner. Normally I like the elderly. I've volunteered at nursing homes. I've played bingo with them. But this crap, come on. Just because you hit 65 doesn't give you the right to start expecting everything on a silver platter. Use the crosswalk like everyone else.
-Here's some roadkill you don't see everyday: I saw a dead alligator on the side of the I-95. It was pretty awesome.
-As an incentive to keep layering on the sunscreen like I always do - come on, older women of Florida, seriously, sit in the shade for once. I never saw so many leathery old women before. Now I know what it would look like if strips of beef jerky could walk.
-Miami is a very cool city. Very trendy, very fun, very expensive. I saw this very nice BMW SUV - brand new, shiny, black, dark tinted windows. Very, very nice. And then I saw the vanity license plate:
"69 BABE"
Classy. Way to dress up that beemer.
I disappeared again this week - another work trip to Florida. This time I hit up the east coast and traveled about 600+ miles in three days. From Florida City to Melbourne, I saw lots of the state.
Some notes on my trip:
-Normally I don't think Florida drivers are crazy, but apparently they are on the east coast of the state. I was flicked off, cut off, and honked at for infractions that were not my fault. I enjoy being flicked off by someone who just cut me off. It must be a defensive move whenever someone realizes they were just an asshole on the road and got honked at for almost causing a wreck.
-I was also taunted by an old lady. I normally have interesting things happen to me while in Florida, but this was a first. There I was, driving into the parking lot of a grocery store. This old woman was about to cross the parking lot street in front of me. I was driving slowly, but the butt of my car was still in the intersection. So instead of causing an accident and leaving my car's ass out there, I kept driving slowly and didn't allow the little old lady to cross the street.
That was the wrong thing to do according to the old lady. Incensed that she had to spend another THREE SECONDS waiting for a car to pass, she walked up to my driver's side window as I passed and shook her head and finger at me in a sort of a "Shame on you" manner. Are you kidding me?! I stared at her for a second and then taunted her back as I slowly rolled by. That's right, I taunted an old woman. From a moving vehicle. I mocked her by shaking my head and finger at her in the same manner. Normally I like the elderly. I've volunteered at nursing homes. I've played bingo with them. But this crap, come on. Just because you hit 65 doesn't give you the right to start expecting everything on a silver platter. Use the crosswalk like everyone else.
-Here's some roadkill you don't see everyday: I saw a dead alligator on the side of the I-95. It was pretty awesome.
-As an incentive to keep layering on the sunscreen like I always do - come on, older women of Florida, seriously, sit in the shade for once. I never saw so many leathery old women before. Now I know what it would look like if strips of beef jerky could walk.
-Miami is a very cool city. Very trendy, very fun, very expensive. I saw this very nice BMW SUV - brand new, shiny, black, dark tinted windows. Very, very nice. And then I saw the vanity license plate:
"69 BABE"
Classy. Way to dress up that beemer.
posted by H at
10:03 AM
3 Comments:
Haha, I so miss you on the instant messenger when you're gone, but the stories are worth it!
Welcome to Florida! Have a nice day.
That leathery old lady will be my sister. oh, wait, she already is.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home