Alanis Morissette

Sometimes I remember a song I once really loved and so I'll look it up, download it and play it to death once more.

Last week it was the song "Unsent" by Alanis Morissette. I love that song and hearing it again made me happy. Until it got to the end and the song was ruined by Alanis trying to play the harmonica.

I was mad because it made me remember how many songs of Alanis I've enjoyed until she starts "playing" the harmonica. Let's be honest, though, she can't play the harmonica. She basically just breathes in and out at full capacity and hits whatever notes her giant mouth is wrapped around at the moment. It always sounds like crap.

So I sat there thinking for a moment about how much she sucks at the harmonica. And then I thought, "Man, I wish I could time travel, because I'd go back to the exact moment she first picked up a harmonica and I'd slap it out of her hands and yell, 'NO!'"

Of course then I thought more on that. "Wait a minute...I think about having the ability to time travel and that's the first thing I'd do? I'd go slap a harmonica out of Alanis Morissette's hand?"

So then I figured that all the good stuff about time travel was just assumed. You know, of course I would've already gone back and knocked off Hitler and done many other good deeds. The Alanis Harmonica Slapping would just be some more icing on the cake of my time travel adventures. It'd be my Time Travel Adventures "jump the shark" moment, but it would so be worth it.

Think of it as some sort of f*cked up episode of "Quantum Leap." Except that I wouldn't need much time or Al to figure out what my mission was once I realized I was in front of Alanis Morissette and a new harmonica. I'd appear, slap it away, and disappear. Alanis would then be amazed that some random ghost/person appeared and then write a song about it...which she would then not ruin with a harmonica.

And then everything in the universe would be A-Okay. Roll credits.

Why yes, I do have some spare time on my hands. Why do you ask?