Open Letter to Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson Airport
Dear Atlanta Airport Officials,
I am writing with great urgency, and I even feel like I should also CC the folks over at NASA. I want to share my great revelation with you: I am no scientists, but I have discovered that your airport is a black hole. But you're not just any black hole!
First, let me give you the definition according to Wikipedia: "A black hole is a region of space in which the gravitation field is so powerful that nothing, not even light, can escape its pull..."
Now what makes your airport even more cutting edge as a black hole is that even as you never allow anything to leave, you also have a huge impact on whether planes can even land there!
YOU ARE SCIENCE IN ACTION!
What is also amazing about your airport is that people can have normal conversations there, and you can even hear the televisions in the gate areas. Yes, you can hear all that even though what you should be hearing is some crazy, never-heard-before, giant, huge sucking AND blowing sound. At the same time. I had once thought that sort of complex type of sound was reserved only for things like Phil Collins' music, or for the Dr. Phil Show, but you have proven me wrong.
Truly, your airport is a pinnacle of scientific discoveries and anomalies - one where you can observe the wonders of the cosmos for long periods of time, all while enjoying an $8 bagel and cream cheese.
So, in the end, thank you for making such vast and difficult science available to regular people like me, and for hours on end, no less!
Sincerely,
An ATL airport patron/prisoner
Dear Atlanta Airport Officials,
I am writing with great urgency, and I even feel like I should also CC the folks over at NASA. I want to share my great revelation with you: I am no scientists, but I have discovered that your airport is a black hole. But you're not just any black hole!
First, let me give you the definition according to Wikipedia: "A black hole is a region of space in which the gravitation field is so powerful that nothing, not even light, can escape its pull..."
Now what makes your airport even more cutting edge as a black hole is that even as you never allow anything to leave, you also have a huge impact on whether planes can even land there!
YOU ARE SCIENCE IN ACTION!
What is also amazing about your airport is that people can have normal conversations there, and you can even hear the televisions in the gate areas. Yes, you can hear all that even though what you should be hearing is some crazy, never-heard-before, giant, huge sucking AND blowing sound. At the same time. I had once thought that sort of complex type of sound was reserved only for things like Phil Collins' music, or for the Dr. Phil Show, but you have proven me wrong.
Truly, your airport is a pinnacle of scientific discoveries and anomalies - one where you can observe the wonders of the cosmos for long periods of time, all while enjoying an $8 bagel and cream cheese.
So, in the end, thank you for making such vast and difficult science available to regular people like me, and for hours on end, no less!
Sincerely,
An ATL airport patron/prisoner
posted by H at
2:27 PM
1 Comments:
I truly hate that airport. When we flew to St. Thomas in January, we had the unlucky choice of connecting either through Atlanta or, only marginally better, Newark. Thus i try to avoid Delta like the plague, but there's only so much you can do sometimes.
Hope you got home eventually.
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