The Holidays

I had a lovely Christmas, thank you for asking. Amy and I were up at her family's in Minnesota. We had a fun time with lots of relatives, a new nephew and family photos. It was a busy time.

I held a baby, which is difficult because I'm freaked out by holding babies. I feel like I'm going to break them. It's not like I'm throwing them around, but I don't know how to hold them and they're squirmy and they cry. Also they smell.

In any case, I still held the new nephew once and it wasn't horrible. He's a cute kid, even when he's spitting up and/or drooling.

I'm better with older kids, so the other nieces and nephews and I had fun chasing each other and playing games where they're allowed to cheat and I have to play by the rules. Cheating is funny when it's a kid. The five-year-old nephew and I played "Slow Tag." If you're not familiar with the rules of Slow Tag, it's basically this: He can run at full speed and you must walk in slow motion.

When the five-year-old nephew was asked about his cheating at another particular game, he gave an amazing Oscar-worthy speech about the topic:

"When she turns away, I do this. (He adjusts the spinner of the game to benefit his turn) That is cheating. I am a cheater."

Then he jumped down off the chair and walked away. It was beautiful.

The Christmas gifts were great, too. I got two excellent books, the DVD of my latest favorite move "Little Miss Sunshine" - and then Amy's dad got me a book of Sudoku puzzles.

At first I was exactly that - puzzled. I'd only ever tried to do a Sudoku maybe once or twice, and I sucked at it. Big time. But I fugured I'd give them another try since I now had a book of roughly 250 of them.

And that's all it took. I am now an addict, thankyouverymuchAmy'sDad. I can't stop.

We also went to see the new movie "Dreamgirls," which is pretty good. A bit too long, but still a good movie with some amazing singers. Eddie Murphy does a great James Brown impression.

Speaking of that, I was crushed to hear that James Brown died. I have loved his music for years.

And now it's back to the grind. One day of work before a three day weekend. Whee! Happy New Year, folks!

Merry freakin' Christmas

I found out about this song a few weeks ago or so and have since been spending time spreading it around like a virus. It's the world's worst version of "O Holy Night." And now it's time to share it with my blog readers. All six of you.

You will cry, both from laughter and from just how bad it is.

Click this link to go to The Sneeze, the web site where I found it. It is truly amazing.
O Holy Crap

Enjoy!

She's pretty neat

Last night, while I was filled with rage due to Cincy's embarrassing play and big fat stupid loss to the Colts, my wife again reminded me of her awesomeness.

There I was, flinging my Bengals hats around in disgust and Amy showed that she really does pay attention to me when I ramble on to her about random football trivia and facts and such. She even asks questions and watches the games with me.

As we turned off the TV, Amy said, "Well, that's okay - the Colts will just go on to lose in the playoffs anyway."

If you don't follow football and how the Colts normally operate, that may not make you smile as much, but hey - it worked for me.

Victory...?

The rats have not carried me away. Instead, I think I may have defeated them. After opening up the hood about two weeks ago and finding two chicken bones and a piece of corn on the cob wedged into the space next to the battery, I knew I had to get more serious.

I purchased D-Con rat poison pellets and something more embarrassing. Bobcat/Fox Urine Powder. Mm hmm. Nothing like buying urine online. I could probably just pay a neighbor to pee on my car, but that might be a bit more awkward. In any case, the predator piss is supposed to do its job.

So, using a combo of piss powder and rat poison in and around the engine (no, it doesn't smell), I've not seen any more signs of the rat bastards and their leftovers. I can consider that a victory, I suppose, but they are the ones who made me purchase piss powder. So who really won here?