Drugs

The bell over the door rang as I pushed open the door and stepped into the pharmacy. I had just been to the doctor to figure out what the heck is wrong with my stomach, and she had prescribed me some serious stomach acid fighters. And there I was in the Inman Pharmacy.

The place smelled old. The walls were covered with that faux wood paneling, which was then plastered with all kinds of old-fashioned-looking health signs. There were a lot of signs relating to incontinence.

I gave the illegible prescription slip to the gal behind the counter.

"Is this your first time here?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Okay then," she said, gesturing toward two folding chairs next to a shelf full of Depends undergarments. "You can have a seat until this is done."

I shuffled toward the bladder control protection section and took a seat.

The bell above the door jangled again as someone entered. I couldn't see who entered, but quickly a thick Boston accent chimed out "Hello everyone!" It sounded like an elderly lady, and when she appeared from in between the aisles to stand before the counter, I saw that she must have been in her 70s. She stood at a shade under five feet tall, a bit hunched over and wearing a older overcoat with a bright violet and tan silk scarf on her shoulders.

"Hi everyone," she said again, handing an empty pill bottle to the gal behind the counter. "I need a refill, and boy, I need it soon. My doctor won't be in until I don't know when and I'm already out of these thingees."

The gal handed the bottle back to the pharmacist. The old woman continued. "How soon can I get those? I just ran out and need them soon."

After a moment, the pharmacist came out from behind his glass work area with the bottle.

"I can't refill these for you without a prescription from your doctor," he said. He was an older man, with grey hair and glasses.

"Oh well, I know you have a prescription on file for me, I know because I've had this refilled before," the woman replied. She looked over at me sitting amongst the adult diapers and smiled a grandma-type smile. I smiled back.

"Let me check," the pharmacist said, walking back behind the glass.

The woman waddled over to take the empty seat next to me.

"I know I'm allowed to get those refilled, and I need to do it now," she said, slowly plopping down into the chair next to me. "My doctor only works Tuesdays and Thursdays and I need those because I'm out now."

The pharmacist reappeared. "Ms. Williams, I can't find a refill order on file for you, plus this bottle says 'No Refills.'" He pointed to a small red label on the bottle.

"Well, I can't get my doctor today, but I need those refilled. He only works Tuesdays and Thursdays," she said. "Those are blood pressure pills and I need them. What am I supposed to do without them and I can't go see him until my appointment next month?"

"How about this," said the pharmacist, rubbing his forehead with his free hand. "What if I give you two pills to get you through the day, and then I'll call your doctor tomorrow to see if I should refill the rest of this for you?"

"Why can't we just refill them now? They're just blood pressure pills, it's not like they're marijuana or some bad drug," she laughed and elbowed me. The gal behind the counter, who had been watching the whole scene without expression thus far, stifled a laugh. I didn't stifle mine, and laughed a little out loud.

The pharmacist rolled his eyes, and then smiled at the woman. "You can just call us tomorrow to see if your doctor let us refill these, is that okay?"

"What time should I call? I'm very busy tomorrow and can't come in here to get them. That's why I'm doing all this today."

"We deliver. You just call us around noon, and we'll let you know."

The old woman slowly got up from her chair. "Well, okay. But I'm very busy tomorrow, so I hope this all works. I've been coming in here for 20 years now and this has never been a problem."

She shuffled back toward the front door. "Bye everyone," she called out with a chuckle as the bell rang above her.

The pharmacist laughed to himself and returned to his post behind his glass shield. I laughed again, too, and then popped some Tums. The "Boston - love that dirty water" song played out from the radio behind the counter and I tapped my foot to the beat.

"Your prescription is done," said the gal behind the counter.

Happy Holidays, folks.

Hope everyone has a good and safe holiday. May all the grown-ups get toys and all the kids get socks.

I actually ask for socks for Christmas now.

Frah-jeee-leee

So our UPS man walked into my office yesterday pushing two packages on his cart. He brought them to my desk, then took his foot and pushed them off the cart one at a time, so that they kind of tumbled and bounced into the delivery area.

I started laughing, and he said, "What?"

I replied, "Well, I love what great care you use when dealing with our packages."

He laughed. "Man, you should see what happens to them before they get to your office."

A silly joke

I've been obsessed with telling this joke since I heard it on Saturday. Some people laugh, some don't. I think it's supposed to be funnier to guys, but I thought it was hysterical.

Q: What's the hardest part about roller-blading?

A: Telling your parents you're gay.

I loved the confused looks I get from some people after I tell them I'm married.

Today I was chatting with a gal I know a little from another office in our building. I guess she noticed the ring on my finger, because she said,

"Hey, are you married?"

I replied, "Oh yes, I am."

A look of confusion slowly spread across her face. "But I thought..." she trailed off.

"To a chick," I said after a long five seconds. I enjoy making them think hard.

"Oh, okay!" she laughed. "Because I thought, yeah, well, you know."

"Yes, I'm a huge screaming dyke, WHERE'S MY SOY MILK! RRRRAAAA!!!"

Okay, I didn't say that last part, but it was funny to think how should would have reacted.

Movie recommendation

Here's mine: Go see "In America" as soon as you can. I saw it yesterday and it is amazing.

I know it's not a very widely-released movie (I saw it at a little artsy movie theatre), but if you can find it, go see it. Amazing.

That is all.

The National Find Odd Trade Associations Association

Today while eating my yogurt I noticed a message on the side of the container:

"This product meets National Yogurt Association criteria for live and active culture yogurt."

There's a National Yogurt Association? Wow. I love really specialized organizations like that.

So, seeing a challenge, I took my lunch hour to locate more of these odd trade organizations.

Here are some I found:
-The American Bear Association
-The Arizona Barbeque Association
-The National Hot Dog & Sausage Council
-The Educational Paperback Association
-The Hosiery Association
-The American Fence Association
-The National Association for the Advancement of White People (yikes)
-The National Miniature Donkey Association
-The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance
-The National Food Processors Association
-The National Wild Horse & Burro Show Association
-The British Body Piercing Association
-The Schenectady Wargamers Association

God, I love the internet.

You know, even with all the snow fun, one of my favorite moments this weekend happened last night.

The loving wife was sitting at the table, all this pastoral job search stuff set out in front of her as she was preparing for a big phone interview with a prospective church tonight. She was sitting there all quiet and studious, looking through her notes, etc...

Then suddenly it was "When I say 'unh', you say 'ah' -- unh! AH! unh! AH! When I say 'huh' you say 'hah' -- huh! HAH! huh! HAH!"

My nerdy bookworm pastor of a wife was singing out the words to that crazy rap song "Let Me Clear My Throat."

Let that be reason #10,567 for why I love this woman.

So, it snowed this weekend.

And it wasn't some little dusting of an inch or so. Nope. Try about 26" in Cambridge.

This much snow isn't bothering me that much yet. I usually enjoy the first few snows of winter. Then around mid-January or so, I start swearing and cursing it.

We got to go sledding on Saturday and that was really fun. Just getting up to our friend's house was like an arctic expedition. I felt like we should have all had ropes tied to each other.

My friend Mo had a saucer and an inner-tube. I don't remember ever getting to try out a snow-tube before, but it was far better than any other sled I've tried! We took them over to a big hill at Tufts University and went screaming down the hill in between all the college students.

Watching the students reminded me of snowy times at Ohio University, when we (just like all the Tufts students had done) would steal dining hall trays and go sledding down hills.

I took Sunday to dig out my car. Fortunately I had parked on a non-snow-emergency street, and it was kind of a sheltered area so the car wasn't completely covered.

Snow storms are a good time to meet your neighbors, too. I was digging out the car when another woman came over and asked if she could borrow my shovel when I was done. I said she was more than welcome to it, I just didn't know how long it would take me to finish. So she grabbed her car brush/scraper and started helping clear off my car. It was really nice. She eventually found a shovel before I finished, but when I was done I still went over to help dig her car out since she had helped me.

I met the people who live in the house I always park by. Although our first conversation wasn't that great, it got better. The woman first appeared from within her fenced yard to say, "Hey, next time you park there, could you pull up more so there's more room for another car to park behind you?"

Mind you, this is coming from a woman who's house has a garage, and there WAS someone parked behind me because there was plenty of room behind my car. I just stared at her and said, "Yeah, sure, I'll try that next time."

I was pretty pissy about it at first, because there I was, helping dig out the sidewalk in front by her house (I was trying to get to my car, but I was still helping her out a bit there), and she doesn't even say "hi" or "thanks" first, but rather gets snotty about how I park my car. The whole reason I started parking on that little street by her house is because my car has yet to be run into there.

So I continued digging out my car semi-angrily, but I got over it. It's not that big of a deal. Then the woman started chatting me up more as she dug out her driveway. She was very friendly, so I don't know if she realized that maybe wasn't the best way to start up a conversation with me or she just felt like chatting.

After I got done digging out my car and helping the other woman with her SUV (I love seeing those covered and stuck in the snow), I went over and helped the neighbor lady with her driveway for a little while.

And then this morning it's back to work. I almost fell down a bunch of times on the walk to the bus stop, and the bus stop was a huge snow drift with a sign sticking out of it.

Hooray for New England winters.

Stats

I love reading how people found my website. Nedstat keeps all the stats on my site, and people searching with the following phrases found my site:

"whales candy dork"
"booty shake contest winners"
"her headphones"
"ten commandments and blackboard in Alabama"
"I have to pee badly"
"pee cup"
"Portland Maine Old Port Pictures Drinking"

This next search phrase disturbs me the most:
"bl*w job"

I am positive that I've never discussed anything like that on this site, and actually, never in my life. Oh, and I'm the one who put the asterisk in there instead of the "o", as I'm hoping that that search will NOT bring up my website twice.

Sigh. I guess it was only a matter of time before my website became porn along with the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 other sites out there.

Perverts.

Sayings

There are many sayings that I enjoy. Isn't it great that people can just sum up a moment with a quick little phrase? I thought I'd take a second and share some of my favorites:

"A bird in the hand is worth nothing unless birds are considered currency in your country."

"It's all fun and games until someone takes away your fun and games and replaces them with something else that's not fun and/or a game."

"Home is where the heart is. HOLY CRAP! I JUST LEFT MY HEART AT HOME! HOW THE F$%^ AM I STILL ALIVE TO TYPE THIS?! SHIT!"

"Be it ever so humble, there's no place like Bed, Bath, and Beyond."

"Love is a many splendored thing with sharp pointy fangs and scary red eyes that glow in the dark."

"He who dies with the most toys is pathetic. Now that he's dead, let's make fun of him."

"I'd rather be going topless."

"Happiness is this thing where you're all happy n shit."

"Don't mess with Texas. Seriously, don't do it. Come on, stop. Dude, stop messing with Texas! Man, if you make Texas cry again, I'm going to have to comfort it and then you're getting your ass beat."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now, please stop holding my be."

"Come on now, stop singing....who really did let the dogs out? Don't make me get your father."

"If at first you don't succeed, go sit in the corner and weep bitterly like the huge pathetic failure you are."


Those are such gems. I hope that some of you will benefit from them. And now I look forward to hearing some of your favorite sayings, so please share them in the comments section!

There's something you should just know:

When you don't salt your sidewalks....the terrorists win.

Snow

One would think that in a city like Boston -- a city that gets an average of over 40 inches of snow each winter -- that people would know how the frick to drive in snow. One would also think that the city officials in Boston would know how to prepare for and react to snowfall, however sudden it may be.

But no, thinking like this in Boston will make you wrong.

This morning we had a bit of a surprise blast of snow, but it wasn't that much in Boston. No one had salted the sidewalks or roads yet when I walked to work. As I was keeping myself from falling down numerous times, I was also watching people slide past me in their cars.

As I stood at the bus stop (waiting 1/2 an hour for a bus that never came), I watched cars at the nearby intersection hitting the gas and spinning their wheels. Then they would slide around the intersection and get stuck. It wasn't helping that there were stupid pedestrians trying to cross the intersection when it wasn't their turn, so then cars were hitting their brakes quickly to stop, and sliding through the intersection.

And I shall call this morning's beautiful ice dance "Morons on Ice."

Turkey is good, break-ins are bad

So my Thanksgiving was great. I got to leave work a little early last Wednesday. Then we drove up to a friend's place in New Hampshire and had a great time.

Amy had to be back to work on Friday, so we left Thursday night.

Friday was fun until 4pm, when Amy and I got back home from shopping and work. Our apartment had been broken into. They got ours and our neighbor's place, and man -- did they kick the hell out of our doors. Our lock was clean on the floor with shards of our door frame laying around it.

Say bye-bye to the following for me:
-my laptop
-my DVDs
-my digital camera
-my regular APS camera
-my backpack

Say bye-bye to the following for Amy:
-her laptop
-her camera
-her cup full of pocket change

Break-ins suck huge ass, to put it mildly. This has happened to me before. I've lived in Cambridge for bour 2.5 years and have had my apartment broken into twice. Once when we lived in Central Square, and now at our place outside of Harvard Square.

It is a feeling I did not want to experience again. The stages go from shock to anger to shock to huge anger to sadness, etc... All over and over again. You sit there and "what if?" yourself to death, too. You feel violated because someone has been through all of your stuff. Our bed was covered in stuff that threw all over it, they cleared off the tops of our dressers and threw it all on the bed to look through it.

There are moments when you laugh at it. I thought, "Damn! That's the second time they didn't steal my shitty stereo! For God's sake! Take the frickin' crappy ass stereo!"

There are moments when you cry, like this morning when I reached for my backpack and it wasn't there. I hadn't realized it til then, and it was just one more thing.

There are moments when you get really and cry, like when my renter's insurance folks told me they won't cover Amy's losses because she's not on my policy, and I thought she was covered.

Yes, I'm very happy neither Amy and I were in the apartment when this happened. Yes, I know it's just stuff. But I'm still very pissed off and sad, all at the same time.

In fact, I'm so upset about all of it that I don't feel like writing any more about it right now. I just thought I'd throw an update out for now.